Shared Parenting

CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

Children are our most precious resource. We must protect them from undue hurt and turmoil. One of the most difficult and painful parts of a dissolution of marriage concerns the children. You should remember that in a dissolution action, you are ending your marriage to your spouse. Neither of you are ending your relationship with your children. You will no longer be husband and wife, but you will always remain a father and mother to your children.

Divorce is a major personal crisis for adults and children. The stress can produce physical symptoms as well as behavioral and emotional problems. Children of different ages may react differently to divorce - from irritability in infants to drug use in adolescents. Recognizing the signs of trouble early and helping children deal with them may prevent serious future problems. You and your spouse can work out the parenting issues, avoid or minimize the harm to the children and avoid a court fight. However, if you are unable to resolve these issues, the court must decide them for you.

SHARED PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY

The concept of shared parental responsibility provides a framework for effective co-parenting. It is the public policy of the State of Florida to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing. Shared parental responsibility is a court ordered relationship in which both parents retain full parental rights and responsibilities and in which both parents confer with each other, so that major decisions affecting the welfare of the children will be determined jointly. The concept of shared parental responsibility is intended to protect the children's right to an ongoing relationship with both parents.

PARENTS' DUTIES

Each parent has the responsibility of making day-to-day decisions regarding the children's care, maintenance and welfare while the children are in his or her care. The parents consult with one another on questions related to religious upbringing, discipline, financial matters, moral training, social and recreational activities, and non-emergency medical and dental care. Each parent takes an active role in providing a sound moral, social, economic and educational environment for the children and in amicably resolving any disputes that arise.

The parents should at all times conduct themselves and their activities in a way that will promote the welfare and best interests of the children.

Each parent must notify the other parent promptly of any serious illness or accident affecting the children.

Each parent has access to records and information pertaining to the minor children, including but not limited to medical, dental, and school records.

Both parents are entitled to authorize emergency medical treatment for the children.

Both parents have an affirmative duty under Florida law to promote a good relationship between the children and the other parent. Both parents must attempt to insure that the children have unhampered contact and free access with both parents. If either parent plans to move to a new location, the children's right to frequent and continuing contact and access with both parents must be considered.

Neither parent may do anything to hamper the natural development of the children's love and respect for the other parent. Each parent must make all reasonable efforts to encourage and facilitate communication between the other parent and the children - in person, by telephone, and through the mail. Neither parent should do anything that would estrange the children from the other parent or that would injure the children's opinion of either parent.

WHEN IT WON'T WORK

Shared parenting is a positive alternative for handling the restructure of a divorced family. However, when there is child abuse, family violence, or continuous parental conflict, the court may find that shared parenting would be harmful to the children. In such a case, the court may order sole parental responsibility, where only one parent makes decisions regarding the children. If the court finds that both parents are unfit, it can award custody of the children to a third party.

TIME-SHARING SCHEDULES

Florida's public policy is to ensure that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents after separation and divorce. Among the decisions that parents will need to make is how the children's time will be shared between the parents. Under Florida law, the father is given the same consideration as the mother in determining a time-sharing schedule for the children.

The schedule can be as flexible or structured as is needed for your family. For some families, nearly equal time-sharing may work well. If the parents cannot agree on a time-sharing schedule, the court must decide, with the best interest of the child being the primary consideration. Determination of the best interests of the child shall be made by evaluating all of the factors affecting the welfare and interests of the minor child, including, but not limited to:

(a) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship, to honor the time-sharing schedule, and to be reasonable when changes are required.

(b) The anticipated division of parental responsibilities after the litigation, including the extent to which parental responsibilities will be delegated to third parties.

(c) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to determine, consider, and act upon the needs of the child as opposed to the needs or desires of the parent.

(d) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity.

(e) The geographic viability of the parenting plan, with special attention paid to the needs of school-age children and the amount of time to be spent traveling to effectuate the parenting plan. This factor does not create a presumption for or against relocation of either parent with a child.

(f) The moral fitness of the parents.

(g) The mental and physical health of the parents.

(h) The home, school, and community record of the child.

(i) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.

(j) The demonstrated knowledge, capacity, and disposition of each parent to be informed of the circumstances of the minor child, including, but not limited to, the child's friends, teachers, medical care providers, daily activities, and favorite things.

(k) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to provide a consistent routine for the child, such as discipline, and daily schedules for homework, meals, and bedtime.

(l) The demonstrated capacity of each parent to communicate with and keep the other parent informed of issues and activities regarding the minor child, and the willingness of each parent to adopt a unified front on all major issues when dealing with the child.

(m) Evidence of domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect, regardless of whether a prior or pending action relating to those issues has been brought.

(n) Evidence that either parent has knowingly provided false information to the court regarding any prior or pending action regarding domestic violence, sexual violence, child abuse, child abandonment, or child neglect.

(o) The particular parenting tasks customarily performed by each parent and the division of parental responsibilities before the institution of litigation and during the pending litigation, including the extent to which parenting responsibilities were undertaken by third parties.

(p) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to participate and be involved in the child's school and extracurricular activities.

(q) The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to maintain an environment for the child which is free from substance abuse.

(r) The capacity and disposition of each parent to protect the child from the ongoing litigation as demonstrated by not discussing the litigation with the child, not sharing documents or electronic media related to the litigation with the child, and refraining from disparaging comments about the other parent to the child.

(s) The developmental stages and needs of the child and the demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to meet the child's developmental needs.

(t) Any other factor that is relevant to the determination of a specific parenting plan, including the time-sharing schedule.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

You may find it helpful to consult professionals including family physicians, school counselors, community resource groups, family mediators, clergy and family counselors. Many counties have courses to help parents and children cope with the emotional toll of divorce and some require that parents attend before their divorce is granted. Most communities in Florida have family mediation services available to help parents develop their own shared parenting plan and solve parental problems.

Because of the complicated procedures involved in a legal proceeding and the fact that the law is changing and evolving, it is very important to consult an attorney if you have a case pending in court.